Hot Buttons

At the end of the lobby, Benny found sets of golden elevator doors. One opened and he saw a thin-mustachioed old man with a walking stick inside a tiny room surrounded by screens on the floor, walls, and ceiling, creating a 3D, moving image of a random beach. Benny figured the man must have been the elevator operator based on his outfit.

“It’s now or never, sir” the must-have-been elevator operator said to him.

Benny walked in and felt something stir up from his insides that he hasn’t felt for a long time. No, it wasn’t his body preparing to expunge all of the spicy curry he embarrassedly kept eating when they’d served his Thai food, which was exorbitantly higher on the Scoville scale than he’d requested. He was able to push those physical feelings aside thanks to nature’s peculiar gift of adrenaline.

Simply put, Benny was feeling exuberance like he hadn’t felt since Shelly Dinkle told him he was the best lover she had had.

Was it true? Who is to say? Was Shelly Dinkle even her real name?

Benny was too full to the gunwales with excitement to think about his college sweetheart. All he could think about was the fact that as he was approaching his twenty-sixth birthday, he was starting his dream job with the most reputable law firm in New York City. All he had to do was get to the top floor for his first day of work.

“Top floor, please,” he said to the elevator man.

“What theme would you like, sir?”

“What?” Benny reached for the buttons, but the elevator man gently moved his hand away from them.”

“Only I can start this elevator, sir. And I can’t start the elevator without your preferred theme.” He jingled his work keys in Benny’s face.

“Can we just get to the top floor? I don’t want to be late.”

“Theme?” The elevator man cocked an eyebrow.

“I don’t know. Space?” Benny was getting exasperated.

The man pressed a series of buttons on the wall that seemed to make no sense. Suddenly, the beachview surrounding them was replaced by planets and stars and the elevator started going up.

“The owner thinks themed elevators make our building more valuable,” the elevator man explained.

The elevator stopped abruptly between the sixth and seventh floor and the screens turned off.

“No,” Benny exclaimed. It was something in between a question and statement.

“Yeah, that happens sometimes,” he said nonchalantly, thumping his walking stick on the buttons.

The elevator turned on, started going down, and the screens created the image of a sauna. Steam began to pour in through the vents Benny hadn’t noticed before, fitting the theme perfectly.

It got hot.

The elevator went lower, much lower than the first floor.

It got exponentially hotter. Benny was sweating through his suit.

“What’s going on here?” Benny asked, wide-eyed.

“You stupid idiot,” the elevator man said excitedly, “Welcome to Hell.”